Sunday, December 21, 2008

Thoughts on my comeback!!

Okay, here I sit. Its Sunday morning............I have lots of thoughts running around in my head this morning. Couldn't sleep in, though I tried. Too freakin' cold to go outside and walk. (Its 25 degrees -- I am in the south ----too damned cold). So, I turn to my computer again.

So, yesterday, I sent my sister a text message that said, I am going back on WW, want to join with me (she lives in another city 2.5 hours away -- so we wouldn't be doing meetings together, just the program together). Anyway, I was sure she would say, I don't know we will see. When she said "sure", I said, ok, I am thinking about joining on the Sunday after Christmas. She said ok. Now, will she? I don't know. Will I? I am not sure (trying to be honest), but I am trying to plan for it anyway. The hubby works that day, why not, right? So, as I sit here, typing away, I am planning my comeback.

I have come to far to go back. I had lost 44 lbs. I cannot gain all of that back. I have gained 14 back but since my surgery, I have been stepping on the scale everyday and have tweaked my eating so I wouldn't gain, and I haven't. So, why can't I tweak my diet so I can lose? DUH!

I realize I am addicted to food. I realize no matter if I am dieting or not, food will always be an issue with me. So why not obsess over food by dieting, counting points, or whatever instead of going off on my latest binge? Oh, I'm not naive enough to think I won't have binges in the future. Nor am I naive enough to think I won't have setbacks and pitfalls along the way. I mean, we have them in our everyday lives, certainly we would have them with our diets.

So, here I go again! My problem is boredom. I get so tired of dieting. That's what happened this last time. I get tired of counting. I get tired of not going into a restaurant and just ordering, rather than looking at this, what's the points for this, or whatever. It's called discipline. I don't have much of it. All of these things I am going to work on. I mean "do what you always did, get what you always got", right?

So, sister or no sister, I am going to get back on the WW wagon. I realize that I need to blog to put my thoughts somewhere. I also realize that reading others blogs are extremely inspirational. Carlos and Tony, you are my weight loss heroes! Kelly, your writing and your words are inspirational. I only hope they help you as much as they help others! Thanks to all of my weight watchers and weight loss friends!


Bunny Trails said...

Well, I'm on the WW program too so if you ever need another 'buddy', please reach out. We need all the help we can get :) I love your spirit, honesty, and determination!

Barefoot Pixie said...

I also am a food addict. I finally decided that I can't obsess over food at all, either thinking about it in a good way or a bad way. I have to break the cycle of food obsession in any way. I'm doing a 12 step program and it's been amazing! Whatever you decided to do I wish you the best!

Carlos said...

aww shucks Ms. CJ... It's your fight that impresses me.

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