Today I feel like I am beginning to come out of the clouds. I guess I have been in a cloud for a while now. Not just since having my hysterectomy, which believe me hasn't helped. Since I quit eating right and stopped going to weight watchers, I feel like I was this airplane flying through the clouds, and now, I feel like the clouds are thinning a bit and I am beginning to see where I am at, where I am going. Does that make sense? I am not sure. Its just what's in my head!
I remember thinking back in August when my falling off the wagon began. I felt terrible when I started that terrible fall. I can always feel right away when I haven't been eating right. I feel like I am in a fog, in a cloud. Well, maybe, just maybe my fog is lifting.
This has been brought to me in large part from my blogging friends. This six weeks off and my massive boredom has brought to this blogging community of wonderful people. Its given me the will to fight again. Something I felt like I had lost. I am slowly finding it again. There are so many amazing people out there in the same fight and I must say, I am in some amazing company. Yes, the season brings on depression in many people, usually for me even, but not this year. It has brought me a new hope. New friends. Definitely new inspirations. I was given the gift of time with this surgery and I feel like it has truly given back to me 10 fold.
I read back over my posts from earlier this month and earlier this year. Some were good, while others were not. How can I sit here and complain about being frustrated with boredom, when there are people out there praying for a day off.? How can I bitch and moan about the cold when there are others who have to sleep out in this stuff? How can I be frustrated with my healing process when I am doing amazingly well and there are so many others in the hospital today, fighting for their lives today, in pain, in chemo, fighting a fight I know nothing about? I am blessed. I am happy. I have an amazing family. Amazing friends. Amazing co-workers. An amazing job. So, today, I am coming out of the clouds, letting the fog lift and looking forward. Looking ahead at what life has in store and realizing I am in an amazing place right now.
Thanks for all the bloggers. You have really made me see the light through those clouds. I have truly enjoyed reading these blogs and seeing your thoughts and emotions written down for the world to see. Thank you, thank you, thank you!