Saturday, May 31, 2008


Ok, ever since reaching my 10%, I have so not being sticking OP. I really don't know why. I start out each day doing what is necessary but by the end of the day, I screw it up somehow! I don't want to start gaining this back. I sooooooooo want to get back to it, but the little demons in my head have taken over and I need to exorcise them out! LOL

I am getting ready to go to the Farmer's Market here so I can get some fresh veggies and try and get back to what I need to be doing. I didn't go to WI this week and really need to go tomorrow, but I won't. I have been working two jobs for the past week and won't have a day off until tomorrow, so I know me...........I won't go! However, I still have days throughout the week to go and plan to. The weight watchers office is on the side of town that my job(s) are and I WILL go after work one day this week. I can make a million and one excuses.....but gain or no gain, I will WI this week.

I am feeling so good, I don't want to screw this up. I don't feel like I normally do, so I do think there is hope. I feel more passionate about getting back OP than I do just stopping....which is totally out of the norm for me. My last post I said something seems different and even though I have had about two weeks of not sticking to the program, I don't feel like I want to throw in the towel and start binging on everything in sight!

I like that I am down almost two sizes already. I like that my sex life has picked up again and that I am the one who has the stamina and higher sex drive for a change. Hubby is liking it pretty much too!! LOL I like that I actually have the energy to work the two jobs I am working (one is temporary but won't end until June 14th).

So, my plan is to start fresh AGAIN this week. Truthfully, don't we all start fresh everyday? I am hoping to make some meals this weekend so I can have lunches throughout the week because I am unable to go out to lunch everyday. This is a stressful week for me as I have my audit on Tuesday and I don't want to turn to my old habits and eat my way through it!

Okay, these are my thoughts and feelings today. Tomorrow? WHO KNOWS!

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Okay, so I reached my 10% goal today. WOOHOO! I really didn't think I would ever get here, yet when I look back, it seems like its been easier than I remembered. I have lost weight before, though its always been a struggle. It is a struggle this time, but it does seem to be easier. Is it because I am doing anything different? I don't think so. Maybe its because have less going on in my life now. More than likely. The kids are grown. One still at home, but not really at home!! So, its me and the hubby. I can fix, most of the time, the things I want and need to eat and its so much easier than it was when the kids were growing up. As a mom, you are always wanted to teach your children to eat healthy. Well, I did and I didn't. I wasn't a good example, but they were fed well. Neither of them has a weight problem. They both went through their "chunky" pre-pubescent stages, and grew out of that to be two healthy, tall, and basically slender young men. I am very proud.

Now back to me! LOL Now when I get home and am stressed out, I try to make healthier choices. No longer am I running from one ballgame to the next or one band competition to the next. I do miss those things immensely, but am reflecting on a life of no time and lots of stress and realize, the place I am right now is a pretty great place to be. So, that's why the decision to focus on myself. Mom's are usually the worst about that and I ranked right up there as one of the worst. Drive thru's and junk food were our staples at times. I realize now (and probably did then) that it wasn't healthy for me or my family.

Trying to eat healthy and stay OP is a daily struggle, yet again, seems to be getting easier. I hope this continues. My oldest son is doing things "healthy" in spite of his mother! The youngest just has a 19 year old metabolism and hopefully will start eating better before that changes. I had one of those once. It caught up with me!

So, there are my reflections of why the weight loss seems to be different, at least for now. I am so proud of my 10% I headed out to buy myself and iPod! A NON-FOOD reward! What a change for me!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

OP for three days! WOOHOO

So, I have been on program for three days after having a disastrous four day binge. I say binge, but I didn't go crazy. Just ate what I wanted and didn't count it. I still ate better than I usually do so maybe there is a small NSV in there somewhere!!

Today, I had pizza for dinner and still have points left and that is going high on the point count. I feel so much better and hope I can continue this. Lots of people are seeing a difference. It always has taken about the 30 lb. mark for people to see a difference. Of course, its not people saying anything that matters to me, its the way I feel. I don't come home dog tired (well not AS tired) and I don't ache everywhere every minute of the day. Its getting better. Used to, by 9:00 p.m. I couldn't make it anymore. Now I can stay up with the best of them! But, usually in bed by 10 anyway! LOL. I am sleeping better too. I have had sleeping problems probably for over five years. I stopped sleeping at night when DH was in Iraq for a year and a half. Those were terrible times and I used food to cope A LOT!

So, feeling good right now. Have a very stressful audit to get through in about three weeks and am no where near ready for it. I have too much end of the school year things to accomplish, that I don't have time to get started on my work. Plus having work dumped on me from the boss never helps!

Just thought I would share!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Interesting Mother's Day Weekend

Well, my Mother's Day weekend started out pretty rough. Around noon on Friday, my DH, nor myself could reach our 19 year old son. He hadn't shown up for work, couldn't be reached by cellphone (which is glued to his ear most of the time) and wasn't at home. Well, DS has had health issues and back in January passed out behind the wheel of his truck. Needless to say, DH and I "went there" with our thoughts as to where he might be. For three hours we couldn't reach our son. My husband drove the streets of our town, I called the police and put out a welfare BOLO, and of course, began to pray.

Well, like I said, three hours later, I get a call from my oldest son (who lives about 90 miles away) and the youngest son had gone to his house to 'crash' and just get away. He was stressed and having anxiety issues. OMG---anxiety issues. REALLY? Anxiety is when your son is missing and you think he's lying somewhere in a ditch (literally was in a ditch when he passed out behind the wheel of his truck).

Needless to say, I handled it the way I always handle it. WITH FOOD. So today, I am back OP and ready to repair the damage I caused and get on with losing this weight. I still haven't reached my 10% AND it seems like that goal is so far off when its only about 4 lbs. But, its I have sabotaged myself too many times in the past few weeks.....its my own fault. I only have me to blame.

I really want this to stick. I am going to have to get out of my rut...eating the same old things and start getting some new, lower point ideas. I have a lot of points now, which gives me some flexibility, but know that won't always be the case. AT LEAST I HOPE IT WON'T ALWAYS BE THE CASE!

Had a great mother's day visit with my oldest son. (Youngest son still lives at home and was dealing with his "issues" - so we didn't have the best day as far as that was concerned). The DH and I got to talk to the oldest DS and he got to tell us about his projects going on with him. He is getting his Master's in medical anthropology and is doing some good work in the city he lives in. It was nice having a grown up conversation with my son. Not having that mother/son type talk. One where we could talk like friends. Of course the child was born smarter than I am, so he definitely loses me sometimes, but its nice to listen to. He really doesn't lose me, but I'm certainly no where near as smart as he is!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Well, I started walking on the treadmill Saturday. Did 11 minutes (two of those jogging) and only did a half mile. I say only, but am thrilled, really! Sunday, I did 10 and half minutes and did a half mile. Sunday also did some strength training. Not a lot yet, but enough to have a few muscles screaming at me! LOL Well, today, came home after work, put dinner on, and headed for the treadmill. It took every ounce of energy I had to do 8:52 minutes and it was only .42 of a mile. I am sweating like crazy and feel like I have run a marathon. I guess you just have days like that. I am glad I did it, but wish I could've pushed myself to do more. I had to really push myself after about minute five as it was! I have always wished I could be someone obsessed with exercise instead of food! Well, actually don't want to be obsessed with anything.

What are some exercise tips? I could use a ton of them!

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