Frustrated!!!!!!

Okay, as I sit here on medical leave due to my hysterectomy, I am totally getting frustrated. I came home from the hospital with all of this energy and felt pretty good for just having an organ cut out of me!~ I have a high tolerance of pain. I thought. Here I am, it will be four weeks tomorrow and the things I am not able to do are really getting on my nerves. I can do laundry as long as I don't change it over.....meaning I can load the washing machine and fold it and put it away. So, that's limited and while that doesn't hurt my feelings at all because I HATE DOING LAUNDRY, I am actually wishing I could do it.

I did go in to work Friday and today (Monday) for three hours each day. I had to write checks and do my monthly bank statement. No one else is able to do it as I am the only one allowed in my books except for the auditors. One of the auditors said she could come, but then wasn't able to, so yes, it fell back to me to do. Well, that was awful. I was worn out Friday and hurt like hell. It took Saturday and Sunday to get over it. Well, went again today as I said and well now I feel even worse. Here I sit with my back on the heating pad wondering if I should take some of the 'STRONG' meds from the hospital. Not many of those puppies left and I want to hang on to them for something really big!!! LOL

After reading Carlos's blog, I realize I am in a rut that only I can snap myself out of. But, then again, every year I get in to this rut at this time.....yes it has a lot to do with Christmas and all the pressures that it brings. Now, I realize I will almost be healed by the time Christmas comes, because you know, when they say six weeks recovery, when that six weeks point hits, BAM you are healed!!! Anyway, the in-laws are coming and while I do love them, their presence alone is enough to cause a relapse! They are good people, I am just NOT the company type. I worry myself into a frenzy. My husband is the "if the house isn't ready by then...so be it" type person and well I am the "clean like crazy until they get here" type of person. So, if I don't do it...who will?

So, I am staging my comeback. I realize I should just jump on the bandwagon and get back to weight watchers right now, to hell with the big Christmas dinner and all the treats everyone seems to love to bring since I have had surgery..............but, I won't. I am waiting until its all over. I am waiting until the inlaws leave. I am putting off the weight loss..........again, but all the while, I promise I am staging a comeback!!! I have lost perspective of what matters and need to get that back before I can truly heal. Thanks to Carlos and to Kelly for making me realize what's important!