Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Highs and Lows

So, it seems that you all have seen my posts going from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and I will be the first to say, its a roller coaster ride I would like to jump off of! This past weekend was beautiful and peaceful and I want it back!!!

Work sucks! Just that! It sucks. Two days in to the work week and I'm tired, annoyed, pissed, bitchy............certainly you get the point! What was I thinking getting this surgery during the school year? What was I thinking? Well, I was thinking it would help. Did it? Yes, it helped. I'm no longer anemic and in severe pain (worse than labor) every month for two weeks at a time. These things I certainly don't miss. I had no energy before and guess what? I had energy for about a minute since the surgery! LOL I have a sense of humor, if I didn't I couldn't still be here!

So, here I am again, dragging my ass already and its only Tuesday. Back to walking everyday, even though its only a little bit, its something. My eating is better, not "BEST" but better! This new hormone they have put me on is making me retain water. What fun! I think I have had about 80 ounces of water today. You would think I would be running to the bathroom.....not the case. So, it seems like this is going to be a "hit or miss" situation on getting me regulated. I am ready to go off the hormones all together, but the way I was feeling before, not sure if I can function so, of course, will discuss this with the doctor. I feel like I'm becoming a broken record. I cannot tell you how much I try to get away from thinking about this, get away from feeling it, speaking it, but it seems to keep slapping me in the face and making me pay attention.

I am one of these women who after my surgery I was superwoman and everything was great (and it was, it is). Never admit there is anything wrong. This was my miracle cure. You've had your surgery, you are fine, move on. Do you know how much I want to be that person. I had four glorious days out of this past week feeling like a human again. Feeling like I might be on the mend. Stress took that from me. She's a bitch, stress is. I started walking more to try and defeat her, but she's stronger than I am and I am in a wrestling match with her right now. Wish me luck and cheer me on so I can whip the bitch at her own game!


Debby said...

Rah rah sis boom bah!!!
Stress is bad!
Kick her ass!

See me shaking my pom pons for you?????

Losing Waist! said...

Have the doc and you talked of maybe adding an bitty dose of an anti-depressant? My mother-in-law had the same surgery as you and went on one because the surgery changed her body chemisty and she needed a little boost. She went on on about six months after and has been on the same dose ever since and it has kept her level.

I have been thinking about you! I think you are keeping it in perspective right now with doing "better" and not worrying about doing the "best"... If you can make it through this period without flipping out with food, imagine how excited you will be? What an accomplishment that will be. You can do it!!

meandww said...

stress is definitely a bitch...and you can't let her win!

Stress is so NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!

You need to find ways to deal...and unfortunately I am not the best to provide some examples...

hang in there!

bbubblyb said...

CJ, I feel your pain. Hang in there.

Tena said...

Boy, that bitch gets around! lol

I had a rough day today and it's probably hormonal! I need the same surgery. I'm anemic, and have two bad weeks a month. But I am afraid of the surgery.

If I can find my Wonder Woman outfit, I'll FedEx it!

Bonnie said...

Hang in there1! We're all cheering you on here in the blog world.

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