First Day Back

Okay, so its my first day back at work after the spring break. Man was it hard to get out of bed this morning. A week of waking up when I wanted to, now I'm spoiled. It is also my first day back doing WW. I am doing it myself, not going to the meetings, so I will see how I do. Honestly, I could make excuses why I am not going to the meetings, like "My schedule is to hectic this time of year", and it is, or, "It's on the other side of town (nowhere near close) and its too costly to do that", or "I don't like the meetings (which I really don't) and its not helping me (which it was)." But, honestly, HONESTLY??? It's too much of a damned chore! I got to where I hated going. So, trying it myself, on my own. We will see how that works!

So my first day went well. Packed my lunch last night so I had no excuse. Made myself eat breakfast (I hate breakfast, but know that it helps me in my weight loss). Got up earlier so I didn't have the running out of time excuse handy for not eating breakfast or not preparing my lunch. It's truly hard. I am taking it one day at a time. I am honest enough, as well, to say I have no clue if this will last another day, another week, another month, or another year. I do know that I will never, NEVER quit trying. I can't.

So, here I go again. Wish me luck! I need it! I'm feeling a bit better this week and working through health issues. The fatigue gets severe sometimes, but I work through that as well. That's when I do AWFUL on my diet. But, again, I can't give up.

Thanks as always for commenting and/or reading my blog. Your support means the world to me!

Back to the real world!

Back from the mountains! Rested, relaxed, de-stressed! We had a wonderful time! I am so happy we went. I like the last minute things that tend to work out. You seem to appreciate them so much more! Even though, when it comes to vacation, I am one of those who loves to prepare.......you know, the to-do lists, and the shopping lists, and the saving for this vacation list! LOL....We are having a family vacation at the beach this summer and I already have my spreadsheet done up and am planning down to the last toothbrush and pair of socks! I am a little neurotic that way. I am a list person! But, it was nice to be a little spontaneous, even though I did plan this, but not so much. We had no plans to do anything for spring break......then the hubby and I talked about it....we wanted to go somewhere close. There is nowhere close! So, I finally just booked a room for two nights for just me and him and the heart shaped jacuzzi! It was wonderful. No computers, no phones, no kids, no work! Just me and the hubster! We really needed that!

We did tons of walking which felt great by the way. I felt no stress and am fairly sure my problems are all related to stress. I had a few heart flutter sensations while I was there, but nothing that I had been feeling. No where near. We were on the 3rd floor and every time we went out or to the car or whatever, we took the stairs. The wonderful part???? I didn't get winded AT ALL and we raced up the stairs one time and it felt great.

It's a wonder what getting out of town away from everyone and everything can do for your spirits, as well as the sex and the heart shaped jacuzzi! It did wonders for our spirits as well! Speaking of spirits, we stopped by a little winery before we got to the hotel, had a little tasting session, it was great! Bought three bottles of wine! Now, I'm not much on wine or drinking for that matter, but we did finish those three bottles off and stopped back by on our way home to get some more! I'm more of a rum, jack daniels kinda girl (WHEN/IF I DRINK), so normally, I just don't drink. This was nice and relaxing though and we both enjoyed it!

So, to all of you who are stressed with work, with life, with your health or your diet, I highly recommend taking a TIME OUT and working on yourself (or each other if you are married LOL) and be kind to yourself. You are worth it!

Great week

So, its spring break for me ( you know that already if you the last post). I am enjoying so far. The hubby and I have decided to run off to Gatlinburg for a few days to relax, be alone without the 20-year-old, and get out of town and just rest. Its only gonna be for two days, but I am so excited about it already. I need it. Stress levels are way up and I need to do something to bring them down!

The health issues are still with me. No one can figure this out. So, on my own I have stopped my hormone. Its only making things worse. I feel better after being off of it for two days. Its not helping the breathing problem, but I feel better. Doctor's ordered a bunch of heart tests, but I don't think its that either. I realize I am no doctor, I don't claim to be, but sometimes you know yourself better than anyone else does. So, I am just dealing with it and not letting it get me down and going on with my life. If things get worse, I will make an appt. with my GP, because I just don't think the gyno knows whats going on and I get the feeling he's not really wanting to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, he's a good doctor, I just feel like he doesn't know what's going on and it frustrates him, so I will deal with it some other way.

But, I am feeling better, that's the good part. Being more active. Eating better. By no means dieting, but I am keeping on eye on my weight, definitely not letting it go back up. I realize this is something I will always deal with and that's ok with me. So, doing the baby steps. Realizing all the while that I am going to have to take bigger steps if I want to start seeing any kind of result. Never give up. That's what I always say and that's what I doing every day!

It's a beautiful spring day here with temps going up to 70 today! Loving every minute of it before the rains starts, but hey, nothing wrong with spring rain either!

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am the spring break has begun for me! The hubby and I have no plans, we are just going to wing it. If we wake up and want to go somewhere, then we are going to go! I'm not going to spend my spring break cleaning out closets or re-arranging the house. I am relaxing.

This time of year is hectic and we all needed the break. The last few days, the kids are bouncing off the walls. Their behavior, TERRIBLE, but each teacher, or aide, or office personnel, or cafeteria worker, you name it, they didn't care. We knew that we were on the "down-hill slide" to spring break. The giddiness in the air was so wonderful be around. The only other time it is better, Christmas Break and the end of the school year. We all work so hard and at times go days without seeing people at the other end of the building, so this break is well-deserved school wide.

I'm planning on working on the exercise a lot more this week. It truly helps me and I know this. I just find it to be such a chore. I guess I need to slap myself out of it and get one with it.

Well, just wanted to share my "giddiness" (if that's a word) with all of you! WOOHOO

Monday, Monday!

Well, don't we all just loathe Mondays? Well I do. Especially this one. I have a major stomach virus going on. It hit me last night around 7 p.m. and kept me up all night. You know, one of those viruses that you plead with God just to let you throw up cuz you know you would feel better, yet its the other end that's the problem. I know, I know, TMI!

I go to the doctor tomorrow to review my month on hormone therapy. I have very mixed reviews and will be telling him as much. I'm ready to just toss the whole thing and forget it. But, actually, I am doing better on it rather than off.....somewhat....I think.....maybe! LOL Whatever, right?

I have spring fever like you can't imagine. I am so over this cold weather. It is supposed to be in the 70s by the end of the week. It can't come soon enough for me. Spring break for school is next week and I am so looking forward to that. We have no plans, which is just fine with me. There is a ton of things I can do at home or I can just sit on my back porch and chill. Whatever, right? LOL

I'm trying to get back on my WW points today and writing here is keeping me out of the kitchen!! Its a start! One day at a time..so on and so forth.

So, my weekend was so totally uneventful! I guess those are good days. Took my mother shopping on Saturday. She'd been taking care of an old aunt of hers and needed some time out. I can understand that. Sunday was a good family day with steaks on the grill and everything.....then I got sick last night. But, that didn't ruin my weekend. I've told me children many times as they were sitting around the house yelling "I'm bored, I'm bored" that boredom is truly a luxury. I enjoy it! My oldest, who is getting his master's right now, has now come back and said to me, "Mom, you were right, boredom is a luxury!" Wow. My son admitted that I was right! I wrote it down on the calendar!!

So, here starts another week.............what does it have in store for me? What does it have in store for you?

Thanks Peeps!

Just wanted to say thanks for the support! I really felt it! I am feeling a little better today. I just have to expect that I will be high one day and low the next. Now, if I could only get a handle on the stress!

I posted to a fellow blogger who was concerned about "depression" and just wanted to say, I don't think any of this is depression. First of all I am on an anti-depressant and these doesn't feel like that. Its frustration really. Or frustration with a little anxiety mixed in and a whole of being impatient. But, I am working through it. I am really more positive than negative its just when I get negative I write!

Again, thanks for the cheering section! It really helped my mood!! You all rock!

Highs and Lows

So, it seems that you all have seen my posts going from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and I will be the first to say, its a roller coaster ride I would like to jump off of! This past weekend was beautiful and peaceful and I want it back!!!

Work sucks! Just that! It sucks. Two days in to the work week and I'm tired, annoyed, pissed, bitchy............certainly you get the point! What was I thinking getting this surgery during the school year? What was I thinking? Well, I was thinking it would help. Did it? Yes, it helped. I'm no longer anemic and in severe pain (worse than labor) every month for two weeks at a time. These things I certainly don't miss. I had no energy before and guess what? I had energy for about a minute since the surgery! LOL I have a sense of humor, if I didn't I couldn't still be here!

So, here I am again, dragging my ass already and its only Tuesday. Back to walking everyday, even though its only a little bit, its something. My eating is better, not "BEST" but better! This new hormone they have put me on is making me retain water. What fun! I think I have had about 80 ounces of water today. You would think I would be running to the bathroom.....not the case. So, it seems like this is going to be a "hit or miss" situation on getting me regulated. I am ready to go off the hormones all together, but the way I was feeling before, not sure if I can function so, of course, will discuss this with the doctor. I feel like I'm becoming a broken record. I cannot tell you how much I try to get away from thinking about this, get away from feeling it, speaking it, but it seems to keep slapping me in the face and making me pay attention.

I am one of these women who after my surgery I was superwoman and everything was great (and it was, it is). Never admit there is anything wrong. This was my miracle cure. You've had your surgery, you are fine, move on. Do you know how much I want to be that person. I had four glorious days out of this past week feeling like a human again. Feeling like I might be on the mend. Stress took that from me. She's a bitch, stress is. I started walking more to try and defeat her, but she's stronger than I am and I am in a wrestling match with her right now. Wish me luck and cheer me on so I can whip the bitch at her own game!

An Escape From Everyday Life

Yesterday, the hubby and I packed up our four-wheeler and headed out to the family farm about two hours away. What a beautiful day. The temperature was about 75 degrees. A far cry from a foot of snow last weekend, huh? Actually its my sister's husband's family that has the land, but they share it with all of us. They have about 175 acres or so. They have rolling hills with a stream running through it. Depending upon the water levels, this can be a small stream or a rolling river. The hubby and I rode through the stream and up the rolling hills to the very top. What a beautiful view. I wish I had brought my camera so I could've shared this view with all of you. Maybe next time.

We needed to get away, that's for sure. We both had endured a majorly hectic work week and were stressed to the max. We spent the entire day riding through the hills and talking with the old folks at the farm. I live in the city (now) but am a country girl at heart. Maybe some day we will retire out that way. I want pastures full of horses and a stream to sit beside and just chill. I cannot imagine anyone going out there and listening to the wind rustle through the trees or the stream running over the rock and not believing in God. It's truly a spiritual place to be. We truly had the time of our lives and want to do this again very soon.

By the time we got home, we were both worn out and I slept better last night than I have in months and months.

I wish this kind of relaxed feeling for all of you!

Hectic

Yes, work is quite hectic right now.......! (Understatement) Work is absolutely crazy. The boss is out for several weeks due to breast cancer and now her third surgery in as many weeks. So, her job has trickled down to her Asst. and her job has trickled down to me and my brain being as fuzzy as it is - well its just not handling it. Thank God for post-its. They are my saving grace. You walk in to my office and you would think a post-it factory exploded in there! Now, I have to leave myself a post-it to buy more post-its!

So, Monday I was feeling better. It was quite nice, actually. Then Tuesday hit. The heart racing and heart palpitations hit an all time high and I freaked out. I called the doctor's office (gyn) and he thinks its from the hormones I was on. So, he changed it. The sucky part is, the hormone I was on had a co-pay of $5.00. This new hormone, a co-pay of $50.00. Now in this day and time, I am grateful I have a job and grateful I have insurance, so I'm not bitching, well not too much. BUT, since stopping the other hormone and starting this new one, the heart palpitations and heart racing is almost completely gone. Its giving me a headache, but believe me, that is nothing compared to what I was feeling! I can actually say that I feel great today! How long has it been since I have been able to say that? A LONG TIME~ I ran around crazy at work, and last week I couldn't have done it cuz of the crazy feelings I'd been having. Today, no problems. It makes me happy!

Don't take for granted feeling great, cuz there's no telling when it gets swept out from underneath you! I drank a ton of water today. Good for me! I had extra walking at school today because we had a program, I had to go to the basement three different times to help the Asst. Principal with an excel spreadsheet (which is 2.5 flights of stairs), and the bathroom in the office is under repair, so we all have to go to the end of the school to use the restroom. Instead of being upset about it, I welcome the extra steps!

So, just wanted to share some upbeat feelings and good news with all of you! Thanks for all the comments. (By the way, the foot of snow we received on Saturday night/Sunday morning is all gone and its 70 degrees here now)

It's Melting, it's Melting~

So, the snow is melting at a nice pace. Schools were closed today, of course, but think the temperatures and the sun beating down on us will clear the streets. Of course, if it didn't I wouldn't mind, I could use another day off! I love it. Its going to take another day or so for the houses and yards to "melt off", but considering it will be 75 degrees here on Saturday, at least this stuff is short lived. I do like the snow, but only if it closes schools (which it did), haha!

Well, with this snow and sub-freezing temperatures, its killed off all the things that were blooming just two days ago. I think this is what was giving me the breathing problem. When the temps took a dive and the snow started falling, the chest pressure eased up and the breathing got easier. Yeah, thinking is allergies. We shall see. I finished my antibiotic yesterday so that will tell as well.

Going to get back eating healthier foods this week. These are my goals:
Eat more fruit
Eat more veggies
Drink more water

I think these three goals are MORE than attainable and not restrictive that it turns me away from eating right. I will say, though, that I will be glad when the "crapberry" (I mean Cadbury) eggs are off the shelves. They are a weakness and I haven't been strong enough to resist. Yep, I'm human and those little babies get me craving!~

It feels good to post something on a more positive note (other than the crapberry eggs - LOL). Now I am going to ease back into the exercise too. When this bronchitis (not convinced it was bronchitis) hit, it halted me in my tracks and just walking from the car into school or into home everyday was a chore.....So, I am going to use my this energy increase wisely and not start out running myself ragged again!

Here's to feeling good! (Glasses clink = CHEERS ;)

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

So, here are a few pictures of what happened here in "Southtown USA". We got almost a foot of snow (11 inches to be exact). While I love this stuff and its pretty, it sure causes chaos amongst southerners! The DH had to go in to work this morning. Took us forever to get him out of the driveway (an hour). We don't do snow tires or chains here. We don't have snow plows or the like. We have flurries usually. Occasionally an inch or two of snow. Not like this for sure! It is pretty and I love watching it from the comfort of my chair, especially since I was out in it for an hour already.

So, my car won't be moving today! A day stuck at the house. Which I am going to thoroughly enjoy!~

My 20 yr. old son is out on the 4-wheeler and my dogs are having the time of their lives! Fun for a day or two. It will be gone by tomorrow!