Friday, February 27, 2009

Trying, really I am!

Okay, so no happy news here. Its been a crappy week. Still feeling crappy. Work is crazy. I haven't wanted food until today! I have lived off minute rice and chicken soup the past week it seems. Just not in a food kind of way. I weighed and was down 4 lbs.......that was two days ago, now I'm up two. I'm not worried, nor am I going to obsess over it. I am going to be doing this for a lifetime, so slow and easy is my pace. Exercise is the problem right now. Still having a problem with my breathing. Still don't think its bronchitis. Giving the antibiotics and steroids a chance to work, but if its still going on, I guess I will go and throw some more money down the toilet and go back to the doctor. I did have more energy today, but I had no choice because as I said earlier, work was crazy. This time of year in a school system....its not fun. Its crazy-ass insane and wearing me down!

Okay, I feel better. I am trying. Though this post doesn't show it, I am in a bit better mood and trying to "be positive". You know, when my friends and family ask me how I am and I still say I am not any better, it gets old, so I just quit saying it. But, I am trying to tell myself that, just to get through the day. By the time I get home though, I crash. I don't mean I am a little tired either. I mean, I CRASH! From what my doctor and my friends and family who have been through a hysterectomy have told me, these crashes are normal for some people. But, why the hell couldn't I be abnormal in this situation? I am usually abnormal!! LOL I guess if I hadn't had some very positive, energetic, exciting weeks where I felt wonderful, I wouldn't know how it could feel. I want those days, weeks back. I had energy, was exercising, happy go lucky. But, I am trying. Painting on my happy face and doing my best! LOL

The hubby is back from his week long trip and I am glad. I am just not myself without him around! Awwwhhh! But, I have to cook when he is home too. Don't like that!! Since I have been so tired, it was soup or rice and I was in the bed. He wants home cooked food after being gone over a week and eating out every day. What a bummer!

So here is my weekly rant! Catch you later!!!!


HopeFool said...

It hit me in the heart when you said, "You know, when my friends and family ask me how I am and I still say I am not any better, it gets old, so I just quit saying it."

I know exactly how you feel. Exactly. I don't think I ever admitted it. That's why it struck me so hard. I think when my handicapped parking placard expired I just decided to start lying and saying I felt better. So, you've got some brave honesty going for you. I was too embarrassed to say I was still feeling so bad.

As far as the tiredness goes, I've got nothing to offer you. I wish I had some secret remedy. I honestly still suffer from the tiredness myself. It's not the crashing tired anymore, but it's still "I don't feel like myself" tired.

All I can say is that I understand. I feel your pain. I'm sorry. It will get better in time for sure.

I guess the positive thing is that we are learning a new level of patience (whether we like it or not).

Bonnie said...

I hope you get better soon, I know my upper respiratory infection took a lot out of me at the beginning of the month. Hang in there and feel better soon.

Carlos said...

sometimes trying is all we can do. good job not giving up...

bbubblyb said...

CJ, hang in there things will get better. I had some cold thing going on, lasted over 2 weeks but when it finally lifted my mood did too.

Lynn said...

Sorry that things are not going well...but you are trying! That is a great thing!

Dina said...

At least you're trying to put a positive spin on it.

Hope you start feeling better soon!

Debby said...

CJ, hang in there gf. They always say if it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Quit testing that will ya???

You can keep lying to all the rest of the people and then you can come here and tell us how you really feel. That's what we're here for.


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