Bloggers are great!

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your support. I have been having a hard time the last few weeks and your kind words definitely have helped.

I am doing crappy diet wise and only have myself to blame. Its so easy, when you are feeling bad, to slip back into those crappy eating habits. I allowed myself to be hypnotized by all kinds of crappy food these last two weeks. The energy levels made it to where I barely made it home in the evening, so cooking a great, healthy meal was a struggle and I gave in! Then of course, the beating myself up about it hasn't made things better either!!

I went to my doctor's appt. on Friday. Did a lot of blood tests, but haven't got the results. From my symptoms, he thinks its low estrogen. In the mean time has started me on a very low dose of estrogen to see if we can't get things started. He doesn't seem to think I will need it long term, which I am grateful for. He gave me something different to help me sleep. I was very concerned I might get addicted to sleeping pills, but this new medicine gave me such a headache! I have been doing good with the sleeping pills though. Only take them when I can't fall asleep after 2 or 3 hours. I am so not one to reach for something right away. I HATE, HATE, HATE pills, so all of this really bugs me. I am grateful the doc was comforting and sweet. Unfortunately, I have had way too many encounters with doctors who blow you off, try to dope you up, and send you on your way. I told him I am not one to want "a miracle cure" for my problems. If that had been the case, I would've had this stupid hysterectomy ten years ago! I try EVERYTHING else first. Sometimes, it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Most of the time I spend way too much time suffering when I could've just gotten it over with! But, that's how I roll. The estrogen could take up to 3=4 weeks to see if a difference and that's only if the dosage is enough. So, we will see. I have taken two pills already, shouldn't I be cured!???? LOL The fatigue is the worst feeling. I also think I may be getting bronchitis. Who knows. If its not one things its another with me! But, I have a positive attitude and plan on overhauling my eating AGAIN. These last two weeks will take some work to erase, but I can do it!

The hubby is going out of town for a little over a week, so maybe I can get my eating back on track. Its easier when its just me. I have already told my son he can fend for himself this week, that I will be too tired to fix him something and me something. He's usually good about that. After all, he is 20 and well, he's too old to baby!

Thank you again to all of you for your support. I realize coming to blogs and reading the happy, upbeat, encouraging stories are a whole lot easier to deal with and help you in your own struggles. Thanks for taking the time to read mine!

Energy Crisis!!

Yep, that's right.......with all this global warming, all the "green" going on out there, and yet, I am having my very own energy crisis.......

No, its not a shortage in electricity and no I haven't had my lights turned off at the house. Its just me. My body. I am running on empty (running on -- oops an old Eagles song). I have hit yet another exhaustion wall that I thought would've left by this point in the game. I was in such pain this weekend that I took my leftover pain medication from the surgery. Guess I am glad I didn't need it much after the surgery. I don't know what's going on. Yes, I know you need to go to the doctor....Well, I have an appointment for Friday. I have a laundry list of things to tell him. I just have always been the type when I am in the doctor's office, 1) I forget everything I want to say.....so I take a list....forget to get the list out, then 2) I am so intimidated by doctors that I just take what he is saying and go on. So, I always get frustrated with myself and with the doctor. So, I do have my list. I think I am going to hand it to him Friday and say, "Here is my list, I don't communicate well, so read it and tell me what you think!"

This exhaustion feels like when I was just out of the hospital or back when they were threatening blood transfusions because of severe anemia. So, he is going to have to run a test or two. Do I really want this? NO! I would rather my extra money not go to the doctors, labs, insurance companies. Who wants that? No one! I am still paying off the hysterectomy. Who'd a thought, hysterectomies on the lay-a-way plan! Sorry, have to laugh!!

I am trying to do good diet wise, because first of all it does make me feel better. Its not always working that way because I am too damned tired to think about food, let alone fix it.

So, for your praying types out there, send me a little prayer that we can figure this out, or I will get over it....for anybody else, just some well-wishes would be nice! I am at the end of my rope, tied a knot in it, and about to free-fall into ............................................

Positives/Negatives

Okay, so I have been working on my positives and negatives and decided just to write them down:

Positives this week:

1) Today is Friday and its my favorite time of the week!
2) The weather was ABSOLUTELY beautiful today, in the 60s!!!
3) I made it through a horrendous day without trying to choke not one person!
(major positive considering the day I had!)
4) My son took me to Longhorn for dinner and I ate very healthy!
5) My husband called me three times today just to see how I was feeling...
Awh, how sweet! (It really is)
6) Paid all the bills this week and still have enough for a bologna sandwich!
(kind of joke with my sister -- she says she's going to win the lottery,
pay off all her debt, and then have enough left for a bologna sandwich!!)
7) I see one of my sons everyday as he is still living at home and I have talked
to my other son almost everyday this week. They are my sunshine!
8) Dear Hubby seems to be getting over his latest "men"opause spell!

Some Negatives this week:

1) Still dealing with UTI and its making me feel like Sh#$!!
2) Feeling more pain now than I did right after surgery!
3) Wanted to choke several parents today (but see above, I didn't!)
4) Tired that the biggest part of my life right now is still getting over
this surgery and its pesky little complications!
5) Have not been OP very well since Sunday and am having some bloating issues due partly to medication and bladder/kidney problems. No excuses though!


Well, as you can see, my negatives are relatively minor. I guess that means my life is pretty good. Oh, there is lots of stuff I could bitch about and believe you me, it would go on and on and on....but I am grateful that my negatives are minor.

So, this next week, I have got to get back on the program, and even if I am still hurting, gotta do some light walking or something. Mostly, though, its about the food. I have got to do better. I have got to cook. I know I have had a terrible week and no excuses....just haven't had the energy or desire to care! Truth and nuttin but the truth!

See ya!