I was looking at the date on my earlier post and Dec. 17th kept nagging at me throughout the day. Why did this date mean something to me?
I figured it out. Twenty four years ago today, I was a 20 year old woman on her way to Japan with my one year old son in tow to meet my husband who had been sent there six months earlier. How crazy was I? Youth gives us courage I guess. Don't know if I would do that now! LOL
Just wanted to share! Thanks!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
On the road to recovery......
No, I am not a recovering addict or anything (well let me see, right now I am just an addict re: food but that's not what I am talking about)....................I am recovering from surgery. Its been long and dull and boring. I am amazed at how you can feel like the top of the world one day and crash the next. I wonder if that's what a real addict would feel like? Hmmm...interesting...??!!!!
Just like with dieting, I am having good days and bad days. Today, a real high energy day, for me anyway. More shopping and feeling great. Didn't crash like I have been lately.....Still get easily tired, but am starting to see that I am getting stronger. Who would've thought that this surgery would take all of my energy.
Of course, its amazing to me how people (including myself) think, "Oh, its just a hysterectomy, no big deal, up and at 'em after six weeks." Ok. I realize in today's society we don't think a hysterectomy is a big deal, and frankly I didn't think it was a big deal until it happened to me. I had natural child births and felt great after my kids were born. This was nothing like that. Of course, I had 12 weeks off back then. Now, I have a hysterectomy, have an organ cut out of my body, and I am off six weeks. Seems like there is something wrong with that picture. I don't think I will have a problem going back to work, don't get me wrong, and believe me, I am ready (not til Jan. 5th) on some levels.....! I remember my mom having a hysterectomy about 15 years ago and I don't remember her having any problems either. I am not having problems, I just don't understand these energy levels.
Its an amazing roller coaster this "healing" going on. I felt amazing the first two weeks after my hysterectomy. Walking in the neighborhood, feeling amazing. I don't feel that way anymore. Yes, I think I have done way too much, but I cannot sit for much longer without going crazy! I know I have said all of this before, its just in the forefront of my mind at this time. At least I'm not obsessing over food, but I am, I always do. From whatever extreme I am at the moment, food is always my vice. It does have control over my life. It always has had. It probably always will.
So here I sit at my computer.....trying not to think of my next twinge, pain, the next time exhaustion will hit. ....... But all the while............I am planning my comeback!
(I am grateful today for my energy level -- what are you grateful for today???)
Just like with dieting, I am having good days and bad days. Today, a real high energy day, for me anyway. More shopping and feeling great. Didn't crash like I have been lately.....Still get easily tired, but am starting to see that I am getting stronger. Who would've thought that this surgery would take all of my energy.
Of course, its amazing to me how people (including myself) think, "Oh, its just a hysterectomy, no big deal, up and at 'em after six weeks." Ok. I realize in today's society we don't think a hysterectomy is a big deal, and frankly I didn't think it was a big deal until it happened to me. I had natural child births and felt great after my kids were born. This was nothing like that. Of course, I had 12 weeks off back then. Now, I have a hysterectomy, have an organ cut out of my body, and I am off six weeks. Seems like there is something wrong with that picture. I don't think I will have a problem going back to work, don't get me wrong, and believe me, I am ready (not til Jan. 5th) on some levels.....! I remember my mom having a hysterectomy about 15 years ago and I don't remember her having any problems either. I am not having problems, I just don't understand these energy levels.
Its an amazing roller coaster this "healing" going on. I felt amazing the first two weeks after my hysterectomy. Walking in the neighborhood, feeling amazing. I don't feel that way anymore. Yes, I think I have done way too much, but I cannot sit for much longer without going crazy! I know I have said all of this before, its just in the forefront of my mind at this time. At least I'm not obsessing over food, but I am, I always do. From whatever extreme I am at the moment, food is always my vice. It does have control over my life. It always has had. It probably always will.
So here I sit at my computer.....trying not to think of my next twinge, pain, the next time exhaustion will hit. ....... But all the while............I am planning my comeback!
(I am grateful today for my energy level -- what are you grateful for today???)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
What I Noticed Today!
Okay, since being off, I have noticed many things......The first one being as much as I hate work, (and its not my job I hate, just the other trappings that go with it) I noticed that I am not a stay at home person. This four weeks has me bored to tears. I have read two books, been on the internet more than I ever cared to, and stared at these walls until I have driven myself crazy (oh and another thing I noticed is that these walls need painting!!)
So, as boredom sets in and the energy comes back (not fast enough though), I am venturing out to do Christmas shopping. I noticed that even though I have time to shop this year because I am not at work, I hate it just as much. I love giving, don't get me wrong, I just hate what it turns everybody in to. We turn in to hunters.............on the hunt for that perfect gift. Is there such a thing? I don't think so. My children are grown and I do miss Christmas morning with my babies. Right now, I am in that state of Christmas's not having as much hold on me as they used to. Maybe it is the lack of children around. Maybe its my cynical nature, who knows. I always get the blahs this time of year. I noticed that though my situations have changed, I don't guess I have.
OH, and I notice that out shopping, people aren't cheerful and happy, they are rude and obnoxious, pushy and hateful, whiney and BITCHY...........and that wasn't me! Oh, and stupid. I realize that these places hire whatever walks in the door for Christmas help, but come on, at least hire someone who can run a simple cash register. Its not that hard. It amazes me that this generation cannot count change. If the register doesn't tell them, they have no idea how much to give back.
While Christmas is the time of family, I find that the thought of all of them in my house is driving me nuts. But that's me, I am always like that. I love the get togethers as long as they are somewhere else other than my house!
Okay, now that I have vented I would like to say that I am normally a happy person. I realize that my posts as of late say otherwise, but I am a happy person. I have everything I ever wanted. I have beautiful children, a wonderful husband whom I still love very much, and yes, an amazing family. Unfortunately, the negative gets NOTICED more than the positive. I am going to try and start living my life on the positive instead of the negative. It makes for a happier person. I remember when my children were younger we did a "grateful" journal. It did make us a happier family. We made an attempt everyday to be grateful. Then I took it further and decided we had to do something nice for someone outside of our family at least once a week. Somewhere in the hectic schedules of band practice, football and baseball practice and games, work, work, and more work, we quit doing our grateful journal. I think that is something I should resurrect. So with that being said, I would just like to say, I am grateful for the life I have, the children I have, the husband I have, the friends and family I have and the many online friends I have through blogging and through Weight Watchers.!!!
So, as boredom sets in and the energy comes back (not fast enough though), I am venturing out to do Christmas shopping. I noticed that even though I have time to shop this year because I am not at work, I hate it just as much. I love giving, don't get me wrong, I just hate what it turns everybody in to. We turn in to hunters.............on the hunt for that perfect gift. Is there such a thing? I don't think so. My children are grown and I do miss Christmas morning with my babies. Right now, I am in that state of Christmas's not having as much hold on me as they used to. Maybe it is the lack of children around. Maybe its my cynical nature, who knows. I always get the blahs this time of year. I noticed that though my situations have changed, I don't guess I have.
OH, and I notice that out shopping, people aren't cheerful and happy, they are rude and obnoxious, pushy and hateful, whiney and BITCHY...........and that wasn't me! Oh, and stupid. I realize that these places hire whatever walks in the door for Christmas help, but come on, at least hire someone who can run a simple cash register. Its not that hard. It amazes me that this generation cannot count change. If the register doesn't tell them, they have no idea how much to give back.
While Christmas is the time of family, I find that the thought of all of them in my house is driving me nuts. But that's me, I am always like that. I love the get togethers as long as they are somewhere else other than my house!
Okay, now that I have vented I would like to say that I am normally a happy person. I realize that my posts as of late say otherwise, but I am a happy person. I have everything I ever wanted. I have beautiful children, a wonderful husband whom I still love very much, and yes, an amazing family. Unfortunately, the negative gets NOTICED more than the positive. I am going to try and start living my life on the positive instead of the negative. It makes for a happier person. I remember when my children were younger we did a "grateful" journal. It did make us a happier family. We made an attempt everyday to be grateful. Then I took it further and decided we had to do something nice for someone outside of our family at least once a week. Somewhere in the hectic schedules of band practice, football and baseball practice and games, work, work, and more work, we quit doing our grateful journal. I think that is something I should resurrect. So with that being said, I would just like to say, I am grateful for the life I have, the children I have, the husband I have, the friends and family I have and the many online friends I have through blogging and through Weight Watchers.!!!
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