New Year's Eve

OH, on the edge of a new year. It's all full of hope and excitement. At least for me! I have had some ups and downs this past year, but I must say more ups than downs. We had no major crises in our family. My weight loss....well sucked this year. But I'm still here and I'm happy and and I'm determined to work on that.

I realize every year it's the same thing. My New Year's Resolution is to guess???? lose weight. Well, I'm doing it again. My New Year's resolution IS to lose weight. AGAIN..........and AGAIN.............and AGAIN........and maybe one day it will take. you know? I don't want to give up.

I will be starting anew this weekend. My work week begins again on Monday. I have been off for two weeks and have thoroughly enjoyed all the seasonal food and parties and more food and more parties and well, it's time to stop it and get back to where I need to be. I want to feel good. That's all. Okay, well, that's not all. I want to look good. I want to be healthy. I want ........IT ALL BABY! And well, I am the only one that can do it.

So, here I am again. I'm like my pixie friend.....my weight watcher's membership had to go. But, I know she knows the program backwards and forwards. We probably ALL do, so why is it we can't do this ourselves? Well, I think we all have a different answer for that. Mine is, I just don't think I want to! I find it much easier to do this with other people. Does that mean going to meetings, etc. with others. No, not necessarily. It means knowing we aren't alone in this.

I will do this again. I want to. Yes, I want to. This time next week, I may be saying something else. WHO KNOWS! I know one thing......it won't happen if we don't keep trying. SO, put your big-girl panties on and get to it. Or your big-boy boxers....whichever! JUST DO IT.......!

Thanks to those who have stopped by and read my blog even though I have kind of fallen off the face of the earth at times. It's not because I am ashamed of my efforts, Im really not. It's because I have been way too busy and well, facebook has taken up a lot of my time too!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May God continue to bless me and my family and may he Bless You and Yours just as much!

Awwwwhhhhhhh! Vacation

Okay, so it's official....I am on vacation. What I lovingly call CHRISTMAS BREAK, but of course, the public school system for which I work, calls it "winter break". W/E... You work at the school where I work, you know there is prayer in school. No way we could make it through one day without it!!

So two weeks off. Think I have all the presents ready. Have to shop for the dinner. Yay! Lately, I have come to a new conclusion.............I HATE COOKING. Yep that's right. I hate it. I especially hate it because everyone in my household thinks it magically appears out of my ass I guess (gosh I hope not, that would be gross)..Anyway, if I cook what I want, then no one likes it anymore even though they have eaten it for 20 some-odd years. I get so tired of trying to think about what others want for dinner. I can't make up my own mind. At work, around lunchtime, it's truly hilarious watching all of us women trying to make up our minds about what we want for lunch. Truly amazing! Once, just ONCE...I want my husband or my son to go to the grocery store, shop for the week, prepare meals for everyone and have everyone like what you cook. It's NOT F=ING POSSIBLE!

So, Christmas is a few days away. I have many blessings in my life that I am truly happy about....so why is it this time of year gets me down? I have no reason. No heartache around this time. No loved ones lost. Just my own inadequacies I guess. I always get the feeling of not doing enough, not having enough, not giving enough, not being enough. But, again, these are all in my head and I seriously have no real reason for being depressed. So, what am I trying to do to make things cheery around here? Cook......I hate cooking these days, but cooking at the holidays seems like a tradition with the homemade cookies and candy, cheeseballs and chex mix, pies and cakes, casseroles.......you get the picture and not a one of them low fat and/or healthy! That always makes you feel good, right? NOT!

So, for all of you out there in the same boat (thanks Carlos), hang on.....this boat might be sinking, but I think we can make to shore!!

26 and 21 HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Yep, that's right. 26 years ago today AND 21 years ago today I gave birth. My son Dustin was born 26 yrs. ago today and Owen was born 21 yrs. ago today. Not planned that way...totally spontaneous events...........from conception to birth!! LOL

They are the best things that ever happened to me. They are as different as daylight and dark. That's what makes them terrific. The oldest is the more scholarly, book-nerd (an Affectionate term) and the youngest is more of the get your hands dirty type of kid. I was always destined to be a mom. I love being a mom...from 2 a.m. feedings to helping with homework, little league, band, girls, broken hearts, a marriage...you name it. It's the most amazing thing in the world....and the most stressful, the most rewarding...the most infuriating....you get the point.

There are times I look back and think I could've done this better or that better. Why didn't we do this? Did I warp my child for life? Who knows. What I do know is that I spent their entire lifetimes doing what I (we --- husband and me) thought was in their best interests.

I am truly blessed. They are two wonderful men now. I couldn't be more proud! I love them with all my heart!