I changed

Well, I wrote one post about me changing my URL/Blog name....must have forgot to save it. Oh well, here it goes again.

I changed the name basically because this is the name I used with WW many years ago and honestly portraits me a little better. I have always felt trapped within myself. The inner me so desperately wanting to come out...the outer me always in control. No, I am not Sibyl, just one of the many people in the world who is fat on the outside - with a thin person dying to get out.

Having had two weeks at home recovering, I have had way too much time to think. Hence the name change. Having four more weeks to recover, lots more time to deal with the inner me and outer me struggles. I am rooting for the inner actually. She's the one who, after years and years of dieting, knows how to eat, knows nutrition, knows exercise, and knows this is the only way to fix what's wrong. The outer me, the demon in my life who is a control freak, is the one we have to fight!!

So, here's to letting the inner thin person inside me, out of this fat suit!!! Wish it were that easy. I know its not easy. I know its a struggle. I have already had the fun, or I wouldn't be this big. So, now its time for the struggles......................................Wish me luck!

Where Have I Been???

Okay, I have been gone for awhile. A long while. Am I back on Weight Watchers. Not just yet, but I am hoping this is a step in the right direction. Back at the end of September and/or the beginning of October, I got the news that I would need a hysterectomy. Well, after finally getting the answer I wanted, yes I wanted a hysterectomy, it kind of kicked me in the gut. After having years of problems and many other unsuccessful attempts of finding any other way other than a hysterectomy to solve the problems, I decided for a hysterectomy.

Well, I had this hysterectomy on Nov. 18th. I am now 11 days post op and haven't felt this good in years, if ever. Why didn't I do this sooner? I am ready to get up and start working out. Honestly, I feel super. Well, doc won't let me work out just yet, but seriously I have NEVER felt better. What took me so long? Good question, huh.

Well, my next challenge or challenges maybe, are going to be getting back to what I know works. Weight Watchers. There is just no reason not to. I think its a good omen I feel so good. Its telling me - "Girl, if you hadn't been on WW before this hysterectomy and got healthier and in better shape, your healing now wouldn't be as good." And I firmly believe this. So, what else besides healthier food and some light exercise to keep it going. RIGHT? So, as I sit here for the next five weeks with nothing else to do, I may as well use this to my advantage and get back to what works.

I'm stuck!

Okay, I haven't been here in awhile! I haven't had time, nor the energy, nor the drive to do this or anything else for that matter. I have been seriously sucking on the diet. Trying to do it at home and that's not working out too good for me. I need something to jolt me back to reality and to keep me from just giving in.........

Will be having surgery in less than a month. Yep the female surgery that all of us just totally look forward to. Yes, I could blame the lack of enthusiasm for WW right now on the fact that I have to have surgery.....but its just that.....an excuse. I am just not motivated. To eat right, to exercise, to do anything. I have felt terrible for several months now and its my own fault. I am eating crap so I feel like crap. Have put back on 9 lbs. What a dope!

So, here I sit, trying to get back in the game, but not really caring about the game, the score, or the outcome~~