WOOHOO!!! Down 2.2 !!!!!

That's right folks, down another 2.2! I am sooooo happy! I was worried after my mess up the other day, but I got right back on track and really worked hard to make sure that one screw up didn't define my entire week.............and IT DIDN'T! Now, I have got to make sure this next week, I stay focused the entire week. That would be nice, huh? I always seem to have at least one bump in the road, but they are little bumps, that I count anyway. I am working on the detours so I won't have to go over those bumps!!

I am slowly getting back into an exercise routine and I know that is helping. It also makes me feel better. I picked up a 50 lb. back of dog food this week, forgetting that I am not supposed to be lifting that much just yet, so that set me back a couple of days, but I worked through that as well.

On a different, yet related topic, I saw my sister this weekend. She and her husband are the type of people who are hung up on weight and obsessed with calories. She is obviously the total opposite of me. I can remember when her two year old little girl was little, her husband would nag her that she was feeding her toddler too much because she had a round little face and that chubby cheeked look. You know, like most toddlers look. By no means was this child even chubby.......just normal. Well, after seeing them this weekend, I realize I am so grateful I am dealing with my issues as opposed to theirs. Isn't that funny? I would never want to look like they do. My poor niece, who is twenty, is 5'9" and MAYBE 115 lbs. She looks terrible.......and what is so bizarre to me, they think she looks beautiful! She looks emaciated. She has NEVER looked this bad to me. She has dark circles under her eyes, her bones stick out of her clothes, and she won't eat. All she has EVERYDAY is steamed veggies. This is what my sister and her husband have instilled in her and to me it is so sad. Now, I have ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS had a weight problem. My children never did/have! I always fed them healthy stuff throughout their growing up years. Oh, my youngest loves junk food like I do, but it wasn't in my house that often (I was a "sneak" eater, so it was never around them!). This is what I don't understand about our society. There is truly a double standard....Don't you think?

My sister, in all her neurotic glory, has instilled in her daughter that fat is evil to the point that she starves herself. Now, how is that healthy. But, BUT, society agrees. The emaciated 20 year old would be considered healthy compared to the 20 year old who was fifty pounds overweight. Now, when I was 20, I was 50 lbs. overweight (hadn't got off the baby weight!! - still haven't LOL). But, I was so much healthier than she is now. I rode horses everyday, for hours at a time, and this didn't include just riding, this was exercising them, walking out the pasture to get them, brushing, saddling, etc......What I am getting at is, my 50 lbs. didn't hamper my health as much as her malnutrition does. Why can't they see that? She's a size zero. That's what matters to them. This is a girl who doesn't do anything. NOTHING. She goes to the gym with my sister (she's obsessive compulsive about the gym - but its okay to eat like a pig in her opinion as long as you go to the gym for four hours and burn it off - instead of learning how to eat), but she can't keep up with her because she is so out of shape. Now, about 20 pounds ago, I would say she was absolutely the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Model beautiful. Not now.

It's also amazing to me how two (three actually) people can be raised by the same people and yet see the world in entirely different ways. I am so much more grounded than she is (yes, I am patting myself on the back). Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, I always will. I just don't understand her mind set. That being said, I also have two VERY DIFFERENT SONS who are so polar opposites, but that doesn't make me understand it! God definitely made each of us differently!!!

So, hopefully someone reading this may have an AHA moment and realize we ALL have body issues. Even those who think they are perfect............they just don't realize perfect, as with beauty, is in the eye of the beholder...don't you think. It's not real. My sister has gone up and down in her weight through the years....nothing I ever thought was even the least bit heavy and to me she looked her best with a little meat on her bones. The highest size (we don't discuss weight) she has been is a 10. To me, she was gorgeous then. Now, she's a 4, maybe. She looks gaunt, dehydrated, emaciated and now she's got her daughter looking that way. But, again, polar opposites. Now, if I can just be that kind to myself...right? I don't like the fat, or the way I look, so I understand where they come from perfectly well......but I don't let body image completely define me. I am afraid that is their first priority and the saddest part of all is, neither one of them is happy.

Okay, done rambling........What do some of you feel about the whole body image thing and what society deems "beautiful"? Several of you have written on this topic lately. But, why do people feel that body image, or FAT, or even the lack there of, totally defines a person? I don't guess I will totally understand that! I remember being totally "judged" when I was just 50 lbs. overweight, wonder what they are saying now!??? LOL Oh well!