Thursday, December 25, 2008

......and to all a good night!

Well, Christmas is over. It is so exciting getting ready, shopping, stressing, running around like crazy........then its over. A little bit of a let down, but mostly a relief. The Christmas dinner (that the hubby and his mother were SUPPOSED to cook ---- I cooked) was excellent. Santa was good to everybody this year....way to good, as usual! The hubby is in bed, my in-laws are in bed, my oldest son and his wife are headed back to Memphis, my youngest is cleaning the kitchen!! All in all, its been a great day............and I am, of course, dealing with insomnia.

Since my surgery, insomnia is my friend!! Makes for a lot more blog posting, that's for sure. I really wore myself out today, did more than I should have, and though I am physically tired, I cannot fall asleep! You might think, too excited from the wonderful day? Nope. Just can't sleep. My insomnia isn't because I am over tired, over excited. I get this every now and again. My insomnia is because my brain won't shut off. That's right I think myself AWAKE! Who does that? Well, I do of course!

Any secret desires you are hoping will appear once the weight starts coming off? Other than sex, because everybody wants better sex!! RIGHT?
(PS - Guess while I am wishing, I wish I was one of those neurotic housekeepers too!! LOL)

So, now that all of the festivities are over, its time to get back to WW. I have my six weeks check up Tuesday and then the following week I go back to work. Not looking forward to it, yet I am looking forward to getting out of the house. EVEN THOUGH, I have quite enjoyed my time at home. I think the going back to work has me anxious. Part of the reason(s) I can't sleep I am sure. My thoughts are to go back to WW this coming Sunday. Why wait til the first of the year? Everybody else will be making resolutions to lose weight......it will be crowded. I will go ahead and join and get in their before the "rush" does. I am not making a resolution. I am just trying to change my life. I may have taken a detour these last few months, and yes you might say I had a "reason" why, but its not a reason. It's an excuse.

I refuse to go back up on weight or in size. I was beginning to like clothes again, but just a little. I was enjoying the being active, but just a little (LOL). I secretly want to be one of those gym rats, but just don't have the backbone for it. I can be very aggressive in my work life, my home life, and most aspects of my life (by aggressive I mean -- I do what needs to be done, don't take no shit, and demand respect) but when it comes to things in my life, like getting the courage to go to a gym, I'm a coward! Scared of my own shadow.......what will people think? So, that's the next thing to work on in my life, other than the ongoing lifestyle change.

1 comment:

Danielle said...

That was a wonderful, strong post. I felt your power and resolution (the non-new years kind). I am really thankful to have your thoughts to read!

I hope you wake up tomorrow and kick some ass!

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